Yes, that’s right. I’m getting hitched! My (now) fiancé proposed on August 4 in front of a lighthouse in Portland, Maine. It’s a pretty cool story…
I had known this was coming, for several reasons actually. One of them being because I recently picked out my ring. Scratch that—I put it on HOLD. I know that sounds terribly, ballsy? of me. And honestly, years ago when my girlfriends and I would sit around and wonder who we would be with (and who would be the first to get married), we also questioned how the whole ring buying would go down.
For the guys reading this, yes, it does sound a bit nauseating. This is what young single women discuss over multiple bottles of wine. To the female readers, you know what I’m talking about.
We used to chat about things like, how would we get him to know what kind of ring we liked? Do we pick it out together? Is that anti-climatic? Do I show my craziness and drop hints all over the damn places hoping he gets ‘it’? Do I make sure my best friend, sister or nearest female knows of the style I like as to avoid any unwanted surprises? And of course, there’s always the girl that says she wouldn’t care what it looked like. (Most everyone else in the group was annoyed by this.)
Do Americans place a high importance on every part of the engagement process? Yes. Is some of it waaay out of hand? Absolutely. Is some of it actually kind of fun? I hope so.
When I was younger, I did not picture me putting a ring on hold like some kind of ‘this is what you are getting me’ take charge woman. But you know what? I’m glad I did it that way. What started as a mere, ‘I have no clue what shape I like, I guess I should take my friend’s advice and go to the antique shop down the street so I can try them on and give my boyfriend some feedback.’ turned into me getting the first ring I ever tried.
The point that I want to make here is that ladies should know what they want and not be afraid to let the person in your life know it. I think of the male clients I work with and I can’t imagine someone telling any of them that they will have to wear something for the rest of their lives; they have no say in it; they will get it as a surprise, and will have to like it. (Oh and everyone they know and even people they don’t know, will want to see it.) Why should women have to like being surprised? If it’s a birthday present, fine. But for an engagement ring? It just makes no sense.
The story of the day I tired on rings is quite entertaining or maybe just how my little sister tells it. One thing I learned is that you really have to try on different shapes as you may like a particular shape, but not how it looks on your hand. Also, if you walk into a jewelry shop…with your sister…wearing a sports bra (hey, we were on a bike ride), people will think you have a fictitious boyfriend and that you just want to play ‘dress up’ with rings. Awesome feeling…no.
My ring is vintage (from the 1920s). I love it. I’m obsessed with it. Thank God Mike did go back and get it (because I would stare at the picture I took of it on my phone. See, there’s a little bit of crazy in us all.)
If you are looking for jewelry now, or plan to be in the future, I would highly recommend going to see Pamela at her shop, Antiques by Pamela in Rochester, MI. Inside, you’ll find an eclectic mix of new and old. Because it’s only stocked with ‘one-of’’ pieces, they sell quickly. (Hence, the need for the hold, ha.)
Pamela is a certified Gemologist, so I listen to the woman! When you have nice things, you want them to stay nice. The first few days of having this ring, I was so afraid I would ruin it. I.E. When washing my hands, I would take off the ring and hold it in my mouth until I had dried my hands. Ridiculous, I know.
I’m learning bridal sites/magazines can be filled with nonsense. Upon reading that vodka and a toothbrush can clean your diamond, I consulted with Pamela on this. Her response, ‘No vodka! Just in my martini!’
Another phrase I’ve heard a few times from her, ‘It’s the first thing you take off in the house and the last thing you put on before you walk out the door.’ That may be a little too cautious for some, but she stresses not to wear your ring in the shower (shampoo/conditioner cause soap scum build up) or while you sleep (not sure why on this one?). She is also giving me a bottle of some type of cleaner. If it works well, I will post the name of it. So all of you can have sparkly gems!